New Parenting Paradigm

I am on a new journey to discover healing for my children and others children who I am often faced with as  Social Worker and Equine Coach.  After my divorce my oldest son displayed some pretty serious behaviors. The changes, different parenting styles and inconsistency developed some rage in my son's heart. Also as a young mother who struggled desperately to have some peace amidst a poor marriage, a son's constant health issues, and my own past, created a mean mother and often times a mother who parented out of fear. I was exhausted, I was up sometimes 7 times a night with a son who had "night terrors" allergies to what felt like everything and a new baby. I was not kind, I was a very practiced and typical parent who offered consequences to everything and any behavior that was not "appropriate" I automatically tried to distinguish it, out of fear of my children turning "bad" or being embarrassed and worried what others would think. The sleep deprivation was making me crazy and I often times looked to others for parenting tips and methods that actually, looking back now were "old" school and often times abusive, rash, harsh, controlling, and fear based. Ugh. Truthfully I'm still stuck in some of the "old" ways. I am trying to break those patterns as I have finally found a parenting style technique that resignates with my own heart. I know because I feel the passion and the pain of my own past in a very abusive environment. I know that I longed for someone to explore  my feelings, feel and hear my pain, validate my feelings, and most of all become the person God designed me to be---fully accepted and loved. So I'm blogging my journey to change and practice and hope you all will journey with me. I have been on a quest since the age of 11. I have always felt there was another way. My sister was diagnosed with RAD (an attachment disorder) and the typical parenting methods, some of which included a rigid Christian, old school, parenting didn't work. Neither did in office counseling. (Which by the way doesn't often work for children) So after years of counseling myself included. I began an educational journey through college and dedicated myself to 9 years of social work experience working with traumatized youth and struggling parents. Through the years I have gathered so many resources to offer other mothers who are hurting and struggling, lets face it, parenting SUCKS at times and I fail miserably! However today I begin sharing my own struggles and changes.The new model is a combined effort of many. I like to call it, Strength and Grace based (Godly) Parenting (perspective.) Vs. Parenting out of fear.Yup and I did say Godly. I'll be throwing in some God verses that describes my version of Jesus as our father.  In other words (old school) vs. (scientific, researched, most effective, and they way God created our hearts and brains) Over the next few months I'll be sharing experiences of how I'm changing.It's radical and its hard to change. Don't be haters! Don't judge! Be open!